April 2009
42 posts
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My husband's affair was the BEST thing that ever... →
People assume that it’s the cheated spouse who heals the slowest, but it’s often the opposite. The cheater has to deal with all the guilt and shame and the sadness they’ve caused…
Related: Smart Marriages Conference 09 - Sex Track
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Hunting for the secrets of a happy marriage →
(CNN) — No one can truly know what goes on inside a marriage except the two people involved, but researchers are getting increasingly good glimpses at what makes couples tick, how relationships are stressed and what factors can keep the spark alive. || New long-term studies show how a baby, boredom affect couple || Study: Arrival of the first baby puts a sudden, important strain on a...
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Longitudinal Study: Family Arguments - kids caught... →
There is new evidence that family arguing leaves a long-lasting imprint on children, diminishing their future happiness and ability to prosper in the world - even when the anger is verbal, not physical. The evidence comes from a landmark study that began more than 31 years ago in Quincy kindergartens, and continues with little fanfare today. The Simmons Longitudinal Study has followed more than...
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Why do some people get rejected by eHarmony? →
Over the past four years, psychologist Gian Gonzaga has spent his days dissecting love as the lead researcher inside eHarmony Labs, the online dating service’s think tank, where Gonzaga and his colleagues observe and analyze romantic relationships. // There are three primary reasons why we’re not able to offer people service. We get kind of a remarkable number of people who are still...
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Russia: 800 divorces per 1000 marriages?! →
In 1980, fewer than one Russian newborn in nine was reportedly born out of wedlock. By 2005, the country’s illegitimacy ratio was approaching 30 percent—almost a tripling in just twenty years. Marriage is not only less common in Russia today than in the recent past; it is also markedly less stable. In 2005, the total number of marriages celebrated in Russia was down by nearly one-fourth from 1980...
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Marriage & Family Stimulus - Listen up Dads. →
Financial pressures wreak havoc on even the best of marriages. Divorce rates hover around 50% and money issues are among the top causes, so we’re facing a tsunami of marital crises in this country. We have been enjoying years of prosperity and this is the first time in a long time many of us have had to do without. // Feeling like you can no longer provide at the same level is hard. But what...
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How do cultures influence relationships? →
As the old saying goes: “love is blind.” But for the American-born children of immigrants, it’s sometimes impossible not to look at ethnicity when picking a partner. ”Asian marriage is often decided based on an obligation to the family, whereas in America, you choose the partner based on your interests,” says sociologist Keiko Yamanaka. Overall, interracial marriages...
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“Marriage actually works best as a formative institution, not an institution you...”
– Mark Regnerus, The Washington Post
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Say Yes. What Are You Waiting For? →
First, what is considered “early marriage” by social scientists is commonly misunderstood by the public. The best evaluations of early marriage — conducted by researchers at the University of Texas and Penn State University — note that the age-divorce link is most prominent among teenagers (those who marry before age 20). Marriages that begin at age 20, 21 or 22 are not...
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UK: Economy is changing family structures →
The latest figures from the Office for National Statistics indicate that the number of marriages taking place in the UK have fallen by 2.7% since 2006. There were 270,000 weddings in the UK in 2007, the lowest number since 1895. Recent reports suggest that the average wedding costs anything between £15,000 and £20,000. Many couples in their twenties and thirties are already seriously financially...
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UK: Rise in couple's seeking marriage help →
Relate Norfolk and Suffolk, part of a national charity which helps people with relationship problems, has seen a 20 percent increase in demand for its services when comparing the first quarter of this year to the first quarter of 2008. Liz Farrow, general manager of Relate Norfolk and Suffolk, said on average across the two counties 50 people a day seek help from the charity six days a week, eight...
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The Too-Good Marriage: A Super Marriage FAIL →
Do you know a couple who seems to have it all? Experts explain why the perfect couple might have more problems than you think. 3 Less-Than-Perfect Couples: The No-Argument Couple: By not fighting, you’re not engaging each other, says Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want and co-founder of Imago Relationship Therapy, and that may be due to a fear of intimacy. The...
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study: UK children among Europe’s least happy →
Children in the UK are among Europe’s poorest and unhappiest, suggests new research. British youngsters ranked 24th out of 29 nations after researchers looked at lifestyle factors that affect child well-being from obesity and pressures from schoolwork, through to poverty and housing. Underage sex, smoking, drinking and drug abuse all play a part in lowering the quality of life for British...
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Counseling Service for Teens of Separated Parents...
When a relationship breaks up, it’s not just the couple who have to cope with the emotional upheaval. Children and teens too can suffer – anger, shock, confusion, disbelief, a sense of uncertainty and even a strong feeling of guilt that it was partly their fault. Teen Between, a support service for teens who have been affected by the break-up of their parents’ relationship, has received 20,000...
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UK trend: Key events in women’s lives before... →
Women aged 25 are now more likely to have had a child than to be married. The latest landmark in the decline of marriage was uncovered in Social Trends, the annual snapshot of the nation by the Office for National Statistics.
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Marriage-Go-Round Author's Advice to Obama...
via The Washington Times: Sociologist Andrew J. Cherlin’s advice to the Obama administration is to continue spending money to promote marriage, but mix in some advice to slow down. ‘Marriage is important,’ he said, but ‘get married’ should not be our sole message. ”We should spend less time promoting marriage and more time supporting stable caregiving in...
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Can Boredom Can Doom a Marriage? →
A new study shows that couples who report boredom at year seven of marriage are less likely to be satisfied with their marriages at year 16. The studied included 123 married couples who applied for wedding licenses in Wayne County, Mich. In their first year of marriage, the average age for the women was 24 and for the men was 26. All were entering their first marriages. Irene Tsapelas from Stony...
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“… much of the occurrence of single parenthood is not the result of...”
– Jeff Snowden, OnlineAthens
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British family life - transformed in a generation →
Women are more likely to give birth before they turn 25 than get married. More people are living alone, more children are being raised by single parents and more grown-up children are living with their parents than ever before, according to the Office for National Statistics. The Social Trends report made clear that the most radical changes had been to child-rearing and marriage.
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Cities with MLB Baseball Teams Have a Lower... →
A new study shows that cities with major league baseball teams have a 28% lower divorce rate than cities that wanted MLB teams. University of Denver (DU) director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies, psychology professor Howard Markman also studied divorce rates in other cities that welcomed a major league team and found a 30 percent decline in divorces in Phoenix, a 30 percent drop in...
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50 Ways to Cause Fear and Shame →
25 ways to make a woman anxious + 25 ways to stimulate shame in a man
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study: School drop-out rates rise for children of... →
Parents thinking about getting divorced, especially for the second or third time, should consider the impact of that decision on their children’s schooling, new research from University of Alberta suggests. Analysis of the data found 78.4 per cent of children whose parents stayed together finished high school by age 20, well ahead of classmates with one change to the family structure. //...
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12 Ways To Recover from an Emotional Affair →
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Scotland: One of the highest divorce rates in... →
In his annual Easter message Cardinal Keith O’Brien, leader of Scotland’s Roman Catholics, said that too often public policy dealt with the symptoms of social problems, rather than the causes, which he cited as marriage breakdown and the fracturing of family life. He claimed that denying children security, stability and morality had led to shattered lives and, often, suicidal...
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WatchFamily Breakdown: An Urgent Crisis!
Georgia Supreme Court Chief Justice Leah Ward Sears warned a group of 150 gathered in the University of Georgia that family fragmentation happens not just because many babies are born out of wedlock, but because so many marriages end in divorce. (Article Link)
If your going, let’s continue this conversation at Smart Marriages Conference.
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'Sexting' lands teen on sex offender list! →
Story Highlights: Phillip Alpert, now a registered sex offender, sent pictures of his 16-year-old girlfriend // Marissa Miller was 12 when she took cell phone photos of herself in a bra - Her mother, MaryJo, is suing the DA to prevent him from filing charges // Jessica Logan committed suicide after her nude photo was sent to several teens. // Related: Why are teens sexting?
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Husbands, Wives and Hard Times - 5 View Points... →
With rising unemployment and dwindling retirement nest eggs, many people, even those who have jobs and relative economic stability, say they are gripped by anxiety and fear. In hard times, marital relationships are subject to a lot of stress. Are they likely to be threatened? Or possibly strengthened? What are the factors that might determine how a marriage will fare? // The following five experts...
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Why do we need Black Marriage Day? →
Joy Jones, the author of “Marriage is for White People,” says that African American women comprise the segment of people in America least likely to marry. “When society debates what children need in order to grow into healthy, happy, productive, well-adjusted adults, a lot of things are typically listed as essentials: access to healthcare, a good education, nutrition, jobs, safe neighborhoods. But...
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Want a husband? Get a degree →
The analysis, by Genevieve Heard, of the Centre for Population and Urban Research at Monash University, turns on its head traditional assumptions about educated women. “The assumption was the more women invested in education and career, the less interested they would be in family, and the less [they would] need to be supported by a husband,” Dr Heard said. “It was also assumed...
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Missing the woman I fell in love with? →
(Parenting.com) — My wife and I share a home and a bed. We kiss goodbye in the morning and hello in the evening with such ritualistic regularity that if one of them somehow gets missed, I worry it means bad luck. We have a marriage in which we tell each other things, without large, dramatic fights, a marriage that in our affection and respect for each other seems awfully good in comparison...
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Living with a Resentful or Angry Partner? →
The biggest challenge of living with a resentful or angry person is to keep from becoming one yourself writes Steven Stosny, Ph.D. who has treated some 6,000 people for various anger and relationship problems. The high contagion and reactivity of resentment and anger are likely to make you into someone you are not. The second biggest challenge, should you decide to stay in a relationship with a...
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Marriage workshops offered in prison →
A maximum security prison is probably the last place you would think a marriage workshop would be held. The Wabash Valley Correctional Facility has been running the counseling program for two years. The Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program also known as PREP brings couples together to work on communication skills and family values. (Full article) ...
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WatchWorkout for Two
The marketing folks at washingtonpost.com put together all sorts of features and advertising to help people get prepared for their summer nuptials.
Really? I could see this going bad really fast!! Oops honey, my hand slipped! (WP article link)
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"Workplace Initiative" aims to help employees with... →
Marital strife and problems in other relationships can take a person’s mind off work, which can cut into a company’s bottom line, says David Jordan with Agape Child & Family Services Inc. ”How an employee is doing in their relationships directly affects the company, the culture and ultimately the bottom line for the company,” he said. Are people going through a divorce...
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Interview with Wall Street Journal reporter Jeff...