MarriageTweets

via CNN - Divorce causes more than bitterness and broken hearts. The trauma of a split can leave long-lasting effects on mental and physical health that remarriage might not repair, according to research released this week. ”People who lose a marriage take such damage to their health,” said Linda Waite, a sociologist at the University of Chicago in Illinois. Waite and co-author Mary Elizabeth Hughes, of Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, found that divorced or widowed people have 20 percent more chronic health conditions such as heart disease, diabetes or cancer than married people. They also have 23 percent more mobility limitations, such as trouble climbing stairs or walking a block. Previous research has suggested that marriage has protective health benefits by providing financial, social and emotional stability. Married women have more financial security, which means better access to health care and reduced stress, Waite said. // related: All Articles

When partners become parents, their immediate focus is no longer on themselves or each other, but on the urgent needs of their baby. This puts their own relationship on the back burner, acknowledged Doug Larzelier, a registered counselor at Spokane’s Heart to Heart Counseling and Coaching. During pregnancy and childbirth, many women also experience changes in their brains that promote bonding and attachment. “The mom just falls in love with the baby – bonding occurs and the priorities change,” said Asbell. “Because that bond is so strong and powerful, the husband sometimes becomes incidental.” (full article)

The July 2009 edition of  focused on young adults’ attitudes and opinions about relationships, including cohabitation and marriage. The findings highlight some important themes about how young adults view relationships, what they value in relationships, and their expectations for their current and future romantic relationships. (full PDF report) // related: Young Americans plan to be married.

There are many influences that have shaped, affected or strained black marriages, according to marriage and family experts. Among them: African tribal traditions, the horrors of slavery, racial integration in the U.S. that paved the way to more freedoms and the migrations of thousands of African-Americans that fractured or reshaped communities. Trace the historic migrations of black Americans. ”Moving from one community to another could affect marriage because it disrupts social ties,” says Andrew Cherlin, a professor of sociology and public policy at Johns Hopkins University and author of the landmark book, “The Marriage-Go-Round: The State of Marriage and the Family in America Today.” ”Migration separates people from friends and relatives who could help them through family crisis,” says Cherlin. Black couples in crisis inspired Dr. Rozario Slack and Nisa Muhammad to create Basic Training for Couples. The free eight-week program educates dating, engaged or married couples in groups of five to 15. The lessons cover the value of commitment, responsibility to the black community, psychological differences between the sexes, sexual intimacy and conflict resolution. // related: Black in America 2

Memories of past hurt are necessary for health and wellbeing. They keep us safe in the present and future, by activating an automatic defense system…the function of emotionally painful memories is the same as the physically painful. Recalling betrayal is likely to make you more cautious about whom you trust; remembering the pain of past failures will usually motivate more learning, effort, and attention in future enterprise. (via Steven Stosny)

More women are waiting longer than ever to get hitched. But as our sex lives have changed, calls to “save marriage” have grown. The newest figures prove that we don’t hate marriage in this country, we just have a problem staying married because we still don’t understand the complex institution and become disenchanted when our expectations crumble. In the segments of our society in which marriage may truly be in trouble, the cause isn’t sex, or tolerance of “alternative lifestyles.” It’s lousy education, tough economics and, yes, sometimes a lack of personal discipline. Try fitting all that into a political philosophy. // Related: Does marriage education make a difference?

Australian researchers have identified what it takes to keep a couple together, and it’s a lot more than just being in love. The study, entitled “What’s Love Got to Do With It”, tracked nearly 2,500 couples — married or living together — from 2001 to 2007 to identify factors associated with those who remained together compared with those who divorced or separated. A couple’s smoking and drinking habits are a far better guide, data collected from 2500 couples between 2001 and 2007 shows. Married couples who either both smoke or both don’t, or who consume similar amounts of alcohol are considerably less likely to separate, says the study What’s Love Got To Do With It. Apparently, shared vices are good for marriage.The study was jointly written by Dr Rebecca Kippen and Professor Bruce Chapman from The Australian National University, and Dr Peng Yu from the Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs. (more links)

There are at least two ongoing rhetorical maelstroms. The first, and more narrow one, is over marriage itself. On one side is the “everyone into the marital pool” movement; lined up against it are the lifeguards cautioning, “not so fast.” The second has yet to make quite as much noise as the first, but it is more profound. It asks why marriage is so central to our conversations, our politics, our scholarship, and our culture wars, at a time when it is so inessential to our lives. This perspective takes a step back - no, many steps back to get a good long view - and looks at the entirety of our lives, as we live them today, and what makes them meaningful. (read more)

UK: It would give estranged husbands and wives a chance to consider saving their relationship. The Tory think tank’s report, called Every Family Matters, also backed a tax break to promote marriage. It called for more counselling for warring couples and marriage classes for those getting wed. And the report insisted that Labour’s new rights for cohabiting couples should be reversed. It found that three-quarters of cohabiting couples want to tie the knot. Research also shows half of cohabiting couples split before their child’s fifth birthday - compared to one in 12 married ones. The report said: “A government that wants to prevent family breakdown cannot ignore these statistics. “Marriage is of paramount importance to individuals, children and our nation.”

An estimated 40% of South Africa’s 18 million children are being raised by single mothers as the nature of the country’s traditional family changes. Seven million children are growing up with single mothers, outnumbering the 6.8 million — about 23% of the country’s children — who live with both parents. Indian children are most fortunate, with 82% living with both parents. White children follow closely at 80%, but 52% of coloured kids and almost seven out of 10 Africans grow up without a father figure in the house. These findings are reported in the South African Institute of Race Relations’ latest Fast Facts survey on SA families. Another stand out feature in the survey shows how the number of double orphans had doubled from 352 000 to 701 000, the high number attributed mainly to HIV/Aids. With South Africa ranked fourth in terms of orphan numbers in Africa, the survey expects the number of orphans to skyrocket to 5.7 million by 2015.